The Corellian Company

Episode III.XVII

HK-MP5-G3-11 Memory log:

Master Kota’s battlegroup is enroute to a potentially rather large scale conflict. Per the usual Jedi bullshit, they are trying to minimize casualties, but I plan on bringing my big gun anyway.

While on the ship, we do experience some meatbag drama. We happen to overhear a Cerean pirate leader, currently “serving” for the Rebellion, planning on breaking off from the mission to steal a Star Galleon. Where I’m from treason means summary execution. Skyron, my squad leader(!), immediately offers them a worthy death, and I have to explain to Marma that those are blasters on their hips, not fancy flashlights. These traitors just shake their heads and walk off.

During our stay on the ship, Master Kota has taken Denjo and Skyron under his wing. They’ll hang out, meditate, do whatever the hell these silly Jedi do when they aren’t getting killed by the Sith Empire. Denjo has taken to letting me use him for blaster practice, which is my current source of joy since living targets are always preferable. Though it is mildly frustrating, watching so many of my bolts get deflected. I can take comfort that the bolts from my big gun, Ronder, are too big to deflect, but we do so much cloak and dagger work I rarely get to bring it along.

The strange meatbag, Marma, has taken to monitoring the meditation sessions, which I occasionally interrupt for target practice. The most bizarre thing happened one of the times I stopped by, she was talking to and fighting with a loaf of bread. I will never understand how meatbags came to dominate the galaxy like they have. I have pretty low standards as far as my expectations for meatbags go, I really am just glad most of them show up with pants on. But when you insist that a floating loaf of bread smells purple and is talking to you, there may be a problem.

Turns out we needn’t worry about whether Master Kota was aware of the pirates treason, as he had us on Double Top Secret Probation. Gweedo was planning a rather lucrative trip to pick up some Verpine Shatterguns, allowing us to fit out the ship and buff out our gear before the coming mission. Master Kota apparently has no problem letting the traitors continue to breathe, but our independent efforts to increase our battle effectiveness warranted grounding our ship and possible detention in the brig. Sigh, it’s no wonder the Jedi are losing.

However, Kota has a proposal. He knows of a verpine scientist capable of producing some seriously powerful nuclear bombs, sufficient to destroy a Star Destroyer. He has my attention. He wants us to use the cash we were going to use for the trade run to buy a bomb from this Verpine. For some reason, Gweedo has a problem with this.

We conditionally agree to this arrangement and head out. We arrive in the asteroid field(!), and start finding our way towards this scientist. Apparently, meatbags are susceptible to radiation. Unfortunately, they all survive. The strange meatbag, Marma, tries physically dodging them. Perhaps the radiation is adversely affecting the meatbags worse than I anticipated.

Or not.

We run into a Tie fighter wing, and just slip past undetected. Finally, an opportunity to kill something, and just… nothing. I get some gratification as the meatbags take some pain from the concentrated radiation.

We make it to this scientist, and she is rather well defended. The droidekas bring back some memories. Good times, good times. I help translate a little, we end up taking her along, as Gweedo really, really doesn’t want to part with cash for this deal. He would rather fill his hold with incredibly radioactive, incredibly illegal fissile material than let a few credits go. I suppose priorities are important.

We load up her raw materials, and head off to her contact for some necessary hardware. Gweedo stays with the ship, mostly so no one asks him directly for credits. We pick up the hardware, and after a little haggling, Marma convinces Denjo to pitch in and pays the man $25k now, with the promise of returned equipment and the other half later.

None of the Imperials in the loading bay notice us quietly loading up all the necessary hardware used to create massive nuclear bombs. My gun quietly weeps. Apparently someone got caught with illegal contraband and expressed their opinion of Imperial inspections with a blaster. Maybe I should have been hanging out with that group. Next time I’m going over to help out. Offer my services, maybe just start shooting Imperials, cause really, they can always just clone some more.

We take off and find Gweedo has arranged a meeting to pick up his Shatterguns. We head out to the meeting place to find two wings of Tie fighters on patrol. I saw opportunity, everyone else saw an excuse. Somehow, Marma manages to avoid this batch of potential target practice too. Sigh. We do get to listen to Gweedo’s contact getting gunned down by the Imperials, so that was nice.

While never actually engaging in the profession myself, I do have quite an appreciation for the service gun runners provide. Especially in the trade of exotic, hard to find guns that are super specific. No one’s asking around for Verpine Shatterguns on Kashyyk. By its very nature, it requires a very particular personality. Mostly amoral, my sort!, who recognize that meatbags have need of new and better ways to kill eachother all the time. If they don’t get it from you, some other enterprising sack of flesh will oblige. Very careful, and very professional though, have to be a good businessman, know when to walk away, how thin you can cut your margins, when you take a sucker for a ride. It also helps to not have stake in
whatever conflict is currently going on. Personal politics clouds judgement, hurts the bottom line. You just don’t last. Sometimes, you’re just unlucky. A military bureaucracy like the Sith Empire doesn’t appreciate competition, and besides, on a long enough timeline, every meatbags chance for survival drops to zero. Just in this particular line of work, it’s not old age that gets you.

Listening to this guys last gurgling scream over the comlink, while entertaining, forces some perspective on what it takes to survive in our galaxy. I happen to enjoy killing, but then again, that’s what I was built for, it’s ingrained in my programming. Some meatbags seem to think there may be some sort of moral quandary associated with supplying a group that goes around strategically killing the members of the established ruling political body. Historically speaking, regardless the established ruling body, there will always be a some group that disagrees sufficiently that it feels killing is warranted. Some groups, like the Huks, are just assholes. If a particular group wants killing bad enough, they’ll make it happen with or
without the gun runners, so I might as well enjoy myself. I really rather wish we’d run into some Imps that Marma couldn’t just wander past completely undetected. That would be delightful.

Gweedo really wants to make some of his precious credits, so he makes another contact with a dealer. It can be a bit tricky, but Gweedo seems to have a pretty solid grasp of how to explain things so they’ll understand.

Dealer: How do I know you’re not an Imperial?
Gweedo: You’re talking to a Rodian.
Dealer: …
Dealer: Let’s meet up, bring money.

So we get to the new contact, without killing any Ties.


We manage to pick up four of the shatterguns. They’re pretty, just not my style. Gweedo doesn’t like the guy, and briefly I am given hope for finally killing something. Nope, we take off and head back.

Marma manages to dodge three(3)(!) tie fighter wings. I’m flying next time, this is getting ridiculous. We make it back to Kota’s ship, and the Verpine set’s about making the bomb. Kota throws in a Jedi fighter starship, which, in my opinion, is useful exclusively for baiting Imperials at this stage of the war. Which would be fine if any of these goddamn meatbags were going to actually start a fight. I t would be nice to have someone out there to help avoid being the only target, who could lure targets into my line of fire. All the killing a team like that could accomplish positively warms my circuits.

Gweedo makes a disgusting profit from selling the guns to Kota’s quartermaster. Once we get down to Sullust and can get access to a real market, we’ll be able to get some serious upgrades for the ship. Kota promised us a Turbolaser(Yay!) emplacement if our overall mission succeeds. I plan to get upgrades that allow me to trivialize climbing and jumping, and let me see in the dark. I’ll get a hidden core backup system, good place for this log to be stored. Also, a Shield Generator and Shield Expansion Module. This will allow Gweedo someplace of comparative safety should we EVER GET TO SHOOT SOMETHING!

Marma has some weird compunction about paying the agreed upon price to the Verpine scientist for her services, a compunction not at all shared by Gweedo. Instead, Gweedo works out a deal to ferry the Verpine around the galaxy a little bit, maybe find her a nice little place where she can work without the Empire breathing down her neck. He’s just all charm and thoughtfulness.

As the battlegroup begins the gradual infiltration process, we become more involved in the actual plans for the violence. This part I care about.

We find out that part of the attack plan for Sullust entails applying explosives on a volcano and using the controlled lava flows to destroy a manufacturing complex. Apparently Tarash has a meatbag contact he’s worried about, and wants to personally oversee the placement of the explosives. Some meatbags are so particular about which ones die, not like they’ll stop reproducing of a sudden, they can be readily replaced.

We were asked to brainstorm ideas for getting the massive nuclear bomb to the Star Destroyer. We considered flying it into the SD hoping they’d just disable our ship and tractor us in, allowing us to drop off the bomb and scoot. Gweedo didn’t like any plan that entails disabling his ship.

We considered taking on a garrison manned by 100+ Imperial storm troopers in order to steal an Imperial ship that could deliver the bomb. Ok, so, mostly just me considered this one. Hope springs eternal!

We also considered and ended up settling on a plan entailing forging documents that made the bomb look like ordnance intended to be stockpiled on the Star Destroyer. We had to come up with disguises as local delivery agents and drop it off at a garrison with convincing documentation. From there, we could rely on the legendary bureaucratic precision of the Empire to get the bomb up to the Star Destroyer, then detonate it remotely.

We successfully infiltrate to Sullusts’ spaceport and everyone gets a disguise. Gweedo gets everyone an ok disguise but himself, somehow. Marma has to convince him that using purple lipstick will be…insufficient. Yes, even when dealing with Imperials. We go out and pick up my upgrades, “Gweedo, pay the man.” and get prepped for the fun part!

Personal Note: These meatbags have spent thousands of years murdering each other in ever increasingly brutal ways. I somehow fall into the one group of meatbags that manages to go weeks and weeks without killing one, single, bloody meatbag. This is ridiculous, I am just going to have to start the fights instead of waiting for these clowns to come through for me.

Also, I still miss Her.



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